Advice for the persons suffering from Tourettes
DON’T…
- Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself will weaken your resolve and will misdirect your energy to blaming the whole world for your troubles rather than trying to get a grip.
- Don’t avoid people. Their unintended pressure for you to “conform” will provide a VITAL boost to you. Just don’t take their “rejection” personally. Go to school or to work – whatever applies.
- Put yourself in positions where people stare at you and even mock you. Don’t worry. It will make you much stronger and will build your self-confidence.
- Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. Crack jokes about it. This whole shaking business is pretty pathetic and funny – if you choose to see it that way. Developing a GENUINE and good-natured humor about your predicament will free up some of that pent-up energy you’ll need to combat this thing. It will also generate good will from others who are travelling with you.
- Don’t fight it. Rather than try to stop the tics, indulge in them. Don’t punish or scold yourself for having them. Instead, let them do their thing. Better still: INVITE them. Command them. Command a particular part of your body to tic – even if it doesn’t currently do that. Especially if it isn’t. Learn all there is to know about your Tourettes! Does it obey your commands to do more mischief? If it does – you’re already on your way to gaining full control.
- Don’t worry if your progress is slow. Don’t worry if sometimes it feels like you’re getting worse. If you’re actively trying to win the battle for CONTROL – you WILL win it.
- Don’t accept any pity. Smile if they offer it and tell them you’re having fun with self-discovery.
- Don’t believe in magical cures – especially those coming from the medical establishment. Once they get something right, they’re all right – but while they’re looking for answers (as is the case with Tourettes, cancer, diabetes, AIDS and so many other ailments), they’re a disaster – made worse by their authoritarian know-it-all-ism! That – and their drugs.
- Don’t fall for quack remedies either.
- Avoid ALL dependencies. Not on people. Not on drugs. You’re on your own. Time you started getting to like it.
- Don’t forget that YOU CAN heal yourself.
DO…
- DO experiment with re-directing your tics. Make them go to new places which YOU choose.
- DO attempt to slow them down – or to speed them up. Make your Tourettes do something it normally doesn’t do, but which it would “like to do!” Even if your “control” of it means that you’re making it worse – it IS still control, because YOU initiate it.
- DO talk about it to your mother, father, friends – anyone. Don’t force it on them, but if you feel you’ve got a friendly ear somewhere – let them know the MECHANICS of what this thing feels like. They’ll enjoy learning this from you. No need to go into “feelings”. Everybody knows it must “feel” terrible. But describe the mechanism for them – because by doing so, you’re also describing it to yourself. Next time, you might describe that mechanism differently. Next time you might stumble on a critical piece in your puzzle!
- DO be your own taskmaster. If you believe my story, you can believe that YOU TOO can conquer this – much easier than you think. The “only” thing you need is a little will power. And don’t worry you won’t have it all at once. It will come and it will build gradually. And with it will come a whole world of new understanding of yourself. And when you know yourself – you’ll know the world.
- DO accept as a fact that you’re already much more special than most people you’ll ever meet. A person who goes through suffering of any kind develops depths which other people often can’t even imagine. Take smug pride in that, but don’t be overbearing either! Feeling good about yourself will help speed up the time it takes you to MASTER Tourettes.
- DO notice how the world is becoming a brighter and better place with each day you’re focusing your energy on conquering your body. Each little victory will bring you new enlightenment. Success WILL breed success.
- DO something physical that’s sufficiently demanding. Get good at it. A martial art worked for me. Perhaps ballet or hip-hop dancing might work for you? A DYNAMIC physical activity that engages your WHOLE body is the key. In martial arts you’re working on every single muscle and tendon – but you’re also working on speed and tension. You’re also working on precision and calmness. Any physical training is better than none. But try to make yours all-encompassing.
- DO teach yourself how to meditate. The purpose of meditation in this case is to bring about control over your body and your mind. 10-15 minutes per day will do while you’re still learning this thing. If it feels good – do more of it.
Advice for family and friends of Tourettes people
DON’T…
- Don’t be judgmental. Get it through your thick skull that they’re NOT doing this to annoy you and they are NOT ABLE to stop this. Not YET.
- Don’t blame them or anyone. This is between them and their condition, so to speak. Let them fight it out.
- Don’t let them see your anger at this condition. But it’s okay for them to see an exasperated SMILE from you now and then. They KNOW you’re suffering too. Be good-natured and kind-hearted about this!
DO…
- Do provide moral support. Marvel at the strength your daughter or son MUST have to be coping with this daily, non stop. Could YOU do it?
- Do encourage mechanical analysis. “How do you think this works?” “Is it like an electric current or like an itch?” “Does it feel good when you allow it to happen?” “How long can you hold it?” “Can you make your hip twitch?” “Can you do some other sounds that feel equally satisfying?” “Can you turn the ‘nn-nnah’ into ‘ah’?” “Can you slow it down and make the tic into a stretch?”
- Do encourage anything that builds physical and mental energy.
Beating Tourettes is ALL about UNDERSTANDING it. Not “why” but “how”.
Anything you do that fosters this understanding will help. Anything you do which deflects from understanding and focuses on unworthy feelings of low self-esteem, blaming others, blaming fate or anything negative – is really addictive, disempowering and ultimately draining.
8 Responses to “Tourettes Dos and Donts”
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About Me
I'm a music producer / songwriter and have also been doing syndicated radio on ABC, Stateside. I'm also an entrepreneur...
As a child, I had this condition now known as "Tourette's Syndrome" and I managed to conquer it to a point where you would never know it looking at me. I have always considered Tourettes as one of the main driving forces in my life. It's a blessing in disguise!
Wanna know more?
As I understand it Gilles de la Tourette syndrome is caused by a part of the brain regarding social conformity being damaged or underdeveloped. If that is the case it’s possible that very early trauma could cause it, though it is vastly more prevalent in males than females so that documentary was a freak incident, but then that’s the US media for you.
It would also explain why it doesn’t manifest itself until someone is old enough to understand what is socially acceptable and what isn’t, and explains why swearing (though not the only form of tourettes) is prevalent in the more severe cases. Basically it’s like when you’ve climbed a tree and have the urge to fall off the branch, or you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, and have that urge to fall. Unlike those urges though, the urge to make a noise, swear or do something inappropriate gets worse and worse and stronger until you eventually give in to it.
And that is why being bullied at school may often feel like you deserve it, because it wasn’t involuntary at all, you did it of your own volition. There is only so much you can do to refrain from an irresistible urge. I, myself, at a young age (about 7) wanted to say the word “cunt” a lot. My doctor had told me to my face i was making noises, twitching etc for attention so my mother wasn’t pleasant with me. I ended up substituting the word by saying it backwards… mostly. It didn’t satiate my urges as much so I guess I did it more often but it did sate my desire.
So the author of this site is correct in saying you can redirect your urges. However, I know for a fact that there are milder or more severe cases, I believe I’m lucky enough to be in the middle ground, but it is often infuriating. For anyone under the age of 18 though you’re in luck, it gets a bit milder after puberty in general.
Also, if you suffer tourettes I suggest never drinking alcohol, definitely never take an antipsychotic such as risperidone, and SSRIs I would suggest noone ever takes. The alcohol because alcoholism is statistically much much higher in people with tourettes, the antipsychotics because they’re awful drugs with nasty side effects, and SSRIs for much the same reason, plus withdrawal can utterly ruin you.
In severe cases though I suppose I would recommend the antipsychotics. But only in severe cases.
Hi Euan, I agree there are milder and more severe cases – in everything. But the PRINCIPLES are the same for all those cases. Just that the application of those principles may be more or less difficult. I 100% agree that alcohol is to be avoided. But I also think that you should be the one reaching that decision. Your mind and body are within your realm of responsibility. My case was, I think, really severe – but all I got to go on was looking at documentaries and talking to people who have gone through it too. While I see some drastic cases out there, I don’t think I’ve yet seen any that I didn’t myself experience at least on some level. I think these cases BECOME more severe in direct proportion to the amount of STRESS and PRESSURE to “become well FAST”. Usually that pressure is external, but we do it to ourselves too. I don’t recommend ANY drugs at all. Not because they can’t help alleviate the symptoms, but because they delay the time it takes for YOUR OWN MIND to take charge. It isn’t all that hard, once you decide that this is indeed the way to go. Thanks for your comment, much appreciated!
I realise only now that I’ve probably had TS for more than 40 years without ever being able to free myself from it or explain it. In the process I have trespassed on friends, family and work colleagues – everybody in my life – with a burden that I felt I could not avoid sharing with them. That was until five or 10 minutes ago. I’m no expert, but your Dos and Don’ts piece simply rings true. It’s very clear, very well-written and very reassuring. Whoever you are, thank you!
You’re very welcome! 🙂
Thank you, ACT! I hope you’ll be able to put some of these ideas to good use 🙂
I get the feeling the author of this post, and the commenters do not understand having Tourette’s Syndome.
Frankly, this control it by sheer will BS is some of the worst advice I’ve ever seen for someone with TS.
It’s not something you can control with willpower
Please don’t try to control them. It becomes a feedback loop of stress.
Accept that you have tics, but don’t try to control them. That only adds more stress to your daily life, which will ultimately result in more tics. Stress is your enemy, it does you no good.
Try to reduce your stress level. Remind yourself, all day, every day, that there’s nothing to hide, this is you. You can’t control it anymore than your hair color or height. There’s nothing wrong about it, and if people want to judge you for it, that is their problem, not yours.
Instead of trying to control it, just let it happen. Realize it is part of who you are. People will judge you for it or they won’t. Those who will are not worth your time, and those that don’t…won’t give a shit that you have TS.
Make friends who won’t judge you for having tics. There are plenty of decent people out there who will like you for who you are. Your tics are such a small part of that whole, that they’ll likely not notice the tics after they’ve known you for a while.
If strangers, coworkers, acquaintances, etc. are looking at you weird, and you feel it may be due to tics, don’t try to hide it. Explain to them why you do what you do. Not an in-depth conversation, just say:
“I have tourette’s syndrome. It’s an involuntary muscle movement, don’t worry about it.”
Just try to be comfortable with who you are, don’t worry about what others think. It’s counterproductive and does you no good.
If something starts stressing me out, I try to remind myself that being stressed solves nothing. Better just to try not giving a fuck.
Just give it your all, whatever you do. That’s all you can do, and once you’ve given something your honest best effort, there’s no point to being stressed about it.
I’ve been on every medication that exists for this disorder before I was 14.
I’m 26 now. I haven’t taken any prescription meds for over 10 years. I have a successful career in IT, good friends, and a happy life.
I won’t say not to try meds like Orap, etc. I’ll just say the side effects weren’t worth it for me, and the effectiveness was very limited.
Do beware of alcohol, it helps a lot, I won’t lie, but comes at the price of addiction, increasing tolerance, and decreasing effect.
What’s worked for me is a low stress lifestyle, a give no fucks attitude towards stress, and medical cannabis.
If you’re the type who can handle psychedelics such as psilocybe mushrooms or LSD, I’ve found that both have helped me deal with my insecurities head on, instead of letting them eat me up, stress me out, and make me tic.
The trips were not always pleasant, but I don’t regret them in the least. They’ve helped me approach life in a more stoic manner that I find very beneficial and freeing.
Work on reducing your stress both internally, by consciously choosing not to be stressed (not easy, it’s something you have to work at every day), and externally by avoiding unnecessary stress. The reduction in tics will follow.
So if something doesn’t work for YOU – then you want to bash it so as to prevent anyone else from potentially benefiting from it. Way to go, Einstein.
My opinion – and method – worked for me. I made no other claims. If it didn’t work for you (though I can tell from your comment that you HAVEN’T tried it), then I’m sorry. And if you perhaps tried it once or twice… you need to try to master your TS over MONTHS, as I explain in these articles. Too slow for ya? Still beats drugs any day.
I wish I knew of a better way. At the time in my youth when it was the worst for me, TS-wise, I was constantly pumped full of every medicine under the sun and none of that worked. For me. What did work, was precisely what I described in these pages. It wasn’t easy to achieve control. But it would have been a LOT easier if someone had guided me. THAT is why I made this site. On the off-chance that someone may benefit from my experience.
Take my advice or leave it – but it can not POSSIBLY hurt you. Except if you’re a lazy git and would rather suffer than consistently and pateintly try something that actually makes sense!
Will-power causes stress? Geez the things people say! If it causes you stress to try to manage your thoughts and try to gain a modicum of control over your body, then you have a bigger problem than TS and should address that first.
TS is not caused by stress. It can CAUSE stress BECAUSE you lack of control over it!
When you say “work on reducing your stress” as your “advice” for TS sufferers, you’re kinda saying what I’ve been saying in these pages, but without any specifics. But then again, think about what you yourself said and then realize that if you can control your stress, you can control other things too. And that includes your body.
Peace.
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